Moving Out & Starting Fresh

For as long as I can remember I had been looking forward to starting uni and moving out. I am going to be honest, I have never enjoyed high school. You often hear peolpe say that high school is what you make of it. But that is not true. At least, it wasn’t for me. Especially the last few years were really tough on me. I was so ready for a change, for a fresh start.

I live in my new house with a couple of other students. I have to say, it takes some getting used to, but I’ll be okay. During the last few weeks of summer, my mum, dad, sister and brother helped me with my room. We went to Ikea, bought some nice flatpack furniture, which we then of course, had to build. (which was actually not as hard as I thought it would be!) I could describe to you in perfect detail how the days went and what we exactly did, but I took some pictures instead..

DSC_0111DSC_0121DSC_0118DSC_0129DSC_0131DSC_0126DSC_0119DSC_0138DSC_0139DSC_0147DSC_0141DSC_0142

All I know is that I am the happiest I have ever been. I don’t know why, but for some reason I feel so much more motivated to actually do something, to go out and meet new people. In high school I was the kid who hardly ever talked to anyone. I was always hiding myself, trying to make myself as small as possible. Mostly because I was terrified. Here, however, it’s totally different. It has only been three weeks and I have already made so many new friends. Every night I have a different party or get together and I actually enjoy them. I even joined two student clubs and one of their committees. If you were to tell high school me all of this, I would have never believed you, but here I am. All I am trying to say here is; uni is so much better than high school, I promise. I know it’s terrifying; going to a new city all on your own, but you should really see it as a fresh start. It’s an opportunity for you to start over. Don’t waste it.

How was your start of the new school year? Do you still go to school? Let me know in the comments!

Toodlepip! xx

Advertisements

Introversion

Introversion is a topic I have been very interested in over the past few days. For the ones who do not know what introversion is; let me explain. It’s essentially a personality trait. You can be an extrovert or an introvert. Although, you should not see it as black and white as I just wrote it down, it is more of a spectrum, really. You can be a little bit of both even. An extrovert is someone who gets their energy from being in a social situation. An introvert on the other hand, gets their energy from being on their own and is actually drained of energy in social situations. Ofcourse, these are only textbook definitions meaning that it is different for everyone. Not every introvert is the same, just as not every extrovert is the same.

That being said, I think I can safely say that I am an introvert. Although, I also have social anxiety which sometimes makes it a little more complicated and therefore the line between my introversion and my anxiety is a bit blurry. Important to note, not every introvert is socially anxious! (or shy) This one is important to keep in mind. Loads of introverts actually enjoy being social and are really good at it as well. However, the question for me remains: Which behaviour comes from my introversion and which one comes from my anxiety? I still have not quite figured that one out.

However, just this morning I came across a video by Savannah Brown in which she talked all about introversion and also talked briefly about an article online. Apparently, there are four types of introversion. Those four types are really what I wanted to talk about today.

A brief description of the four types of introversion:

  • Social: This one basically means that you prefer to socialize only in small groups instead of large ones. Or sometimes you even prefer to be all alone. Important to know; there is no anxiety here, it’s simply preference.
  • Thinking: This one mainly focuses, not so much on the social aspect, but more on the thoughtful aspect of introversion. People who count themselves in this category are often introspective, thoughtful, and self-reflective. I liked how the article described it: “You’re capable of getting lost in an internal fantasy world,” “But it’s not in a neurotic way, it’s in an imaginative and creative way.” Think the dreamily imaginative Luna Lovegood, not the socially awkward Neville Longbottom. 
  • Anxious: This category is quite similar to the social one, however, this one is not so much driven by preference, but more by fear. Anxious introverts are uncomfortable in social situations and are often not confident about their social skills. Hence they seek solitude. However, according to the article, even when alone, the anxiety never really fades away due to over-thinking about what could possibly go wrong.
  • Restrained: This one in particular I find rather difficult to really describe. I used to be best friends with someone who I would most definitely count into this category. I suppose another word for this category could be reserved. The way the article described it was pretty accurate: Restrained introverts sometimes seem to operate at a slightly slower pace, preferring to think before they speak or act.

With these four categories all explained and well, I think I can count myself mostly as a thinking introvert. Even before I knew of these four types, I had always described myself as introspective and thoughtful. For example, you know those long car journeys where you sit in the back, headphones in, and you just don’t want the car ride to end? You’re just comfortably sitting there, daydreaming and thinking. Also, I love to reflect on myself and my life. I suppose some would call this ‘being dramatic’ but I simply enjoy looking back on my life or on certain moments, thinking about it and taking some sort of life lesson out of it. It’s just something I do, I guess. Lastly, Luna has always been the character in Harry Potter I related to the most, perhaps now I know the reason behind that feeling.

The article also comes with a test. ‘Which type are you?’ Very interesting, and in my case, also surprisingly accurate for an online test. It said I was, besides the thinking type, also the anxious type. I think this is the link to my social anxiety. I’m simply not comfortable with my social skills and the way I act in social situations. Therefore, I like to avoid them as much a possible. Which I know I should not do, because I’m missing out on good times, but I can’t quite help it, I guess. Although, according to the test, I was also partly the social type. Which, again, I think is accurate. Sometimes I simply prefer to be alone. Not because I’m anxious or scared, just because I want to. I prefer sitting in my room painting or drawing or writing, instead of going to some wild party. And honestly, I like being that way.

In today’s society, introversion is often seen as a defect. Especially in high school where everyone seems to only care about parties, friends and social status. Being an introvert in these surroundings is hard. However, I wouldn’t want to change it in any way. I guess I simply am who I am. Introversion is not a defect, it’s a personality trait. Although, I also think that we should not see this as an excuse to accept anxiety. Anxiety should never be something that is leading your life for you. However, I am planning on writing a whole post focussing on anxiety, so more on this later.

The fact that I wrote this whole post only proofs that I am, for the most part, a thinking introvert; reflecting on myself and thinking about who I am as a person. I hope you found all of this information this just as interesting as I did. Are you an introvert, if so; which type are you? Or do you see yourself as an extrovert? Or are you somewhere else on the spectrum? Let me know in the comments! Let’s talk about this!

Toodlepip!

Let’s Talk About Insecurities

Warning: this post is going to be one big mess as I have literally no idea at this point what I want to bring across to you guys. Also, my brain is a big mess at the moment so please excuse that too. But hey, leggo. Let’s talk about insecurities.

Insecurities start with pressure. You put pressure on yourself to be the best person you can be. I think that is what we all want; to be the best person possible. But we cannot always be the best person. Why can we not be that? Why is it that sometimes we cannot be the person we want to be. This is where insecurity starts. This is where that little voice inside your head starts telling you you’re not good enough.

Something I discovered lately is that I want to create. I love to create. It gives me a sense of purpose. It gives me motivation to live on. However, as much as I love creating, it also makes me very insecure. I put pressure on myself to create the best things possible. But I cannot always create the best things possible. Even writing this post right now, makes me insecure. Just a second ago I sat back in my chair and looked at my computer screen and for a split second I thought: ”why do I even bother? It’s not going to be the best I can. I should just delete this all and go back to laying in my bed.” And I think that is the main question here: should I continue to create even if it is not going to be a great creation. The bright side of my mind is shouting ‘yes!’ right now. But why? It gives me joy sometimes, but also so many insecurities.

These insecurities make me sad. Right now I am typing this while wiping away a tear. Why? I don’t know. I do not know why I am crying. Perhaps creating this post, the fact that I talk about this topic and think about this topic reminds me of the fact that sometimes, I am a very unhappy person. That feeling of unhappiness that I am currently feeling, scares me and makes me even more insecure about what I create, ultimately making me even more sad. And like that, it is an unending circle. If I stop creating now, I won’t feel that unhappy feeling and I won’t feel so insecure and scared anymore, but without creating I will never find joy. There is a difference between happiness and joy, you know? Let me explain.

Happiness is the state of being happy. You can feel happy when you are laughing with a friend. You can feel happy at a concert of your favourite band. You can be depressed and still feel happiness. You can be suicidal and still feel happiness. Joy, on the other hand, is not as specific. It is not one moment that gives you a feeling of joy. It is simply being content with the way your life is. I think that is what joy really is. You are not in control of your happiness. People can take it away from you. Your mind can take it away from you. However, we can be in control of our own personal joy.

By creating, I will not find happiness. In fact; sometimes I am so insecure about what I create, I will find the most unhappy feeling there is. However, creating, as far as I know now, is the only thing that can bring me joy. Perhaps we all just have to push through those insecurities, push through the fear of being unhappy, in order to be able to find joy.

‘Don’t let the fear of unhappiness stop you from doing what it is that brings you joy. Don’t be afraid to push through insecurities and unhappiness to find joy.’ 

That being said; what is it that one can do to stop feeling so insecure? This is a rather difficult question to answer. However, I think I have found the answer. Someone helped me find it actually. So if you have recognized anything that I have written in this post, it’s because I was inspired by someone else. Almost all I know, comes from that one person. Back to the question; what can I do to stop being insecure about what I create? First of all: Stop feeling like you need to be a teenage prodigy. Hardly anyone is. Hard work and practise is key. Pretend you’re confident until you are. It’s hard, I know, but it seems to work. Apparantly, your mentality will change.

”A year ago I’d be saying that this drawing is really shitty compared to what other people can do. Today I’m saying, I’m a damn good artist and I’m going to keep practicing and keep getting better.”  – Tyler Joseph

I don’t really know what else I can say. I think it is safe for me to say that at the beginning of this post I was crying and I was insecure and I was feeling very down about myself and my ability to create. However, right now, I pushed through those insecurities, I pushed through the tears and unhappiness, and I created. Perhaps this is not my best post. Perhaps this is not the best post out there, but at least I created something.

Also, I hope you guys appreciate my honesty. I got a comment a few days ago that really touched me. The person told me that they liked my honesty. That person told me to stay strong and keep going. I think that is the main thing I want to do with my blog. I want to be honest about who I am and who I want to be, but mostly; I want to be honest about how I feel and what is on my mind. Not only does it help me, but I really hope it might help some of you too. By writing all of this and by being open and honest, I want to tell you all that it’s okay to be broken. It’s okay if you do not know what to do or what to think. You are not alone. I’m there too and all we can do is just keep going and keep trying and keep chasing joy.

I will see you tomorrow. Thank you if you have read up until here. It means the absolute world to me.

Toodlepip. xxx

Hello 2017: the year of high hopes

Yesterday I wrote a ‘Goodbye 2016’ blogpost; looking back on the previous year. 2016 has been a year of ups and downs. I hope next year, for 2017 I will be able to say it was the year of change. Here are my hopes for 2017.

  • I hope that I am going to graduate. Normally, on the education level I am on, middle and high school last six years all together. I am now on year 7 as I was held back one year. Let me tell you that 7 years of high school has been more than enough. Therefore, I hope will all my heart, that I will pass all my exams so I can finally leave this hell hole. As really, as sad and pessimistic as it might sound, that’s what high school currently is to me.
  • I hope that I will enjoy my first year at uni. I cannot say anything yet for the years after that, but I hope to at least enjoy my first year. I am not 100% sure yet what I want to do at uni, but I just hope I will like it.
  • I hope that living in a bigger city will make me feel more at home. The place where I am living now does simply not feel like home. I don’t know why. Perhaps it’s because it’s a small and dull village. Perhaps I will feel more at home in the big city. I truly hope so.
  • I hope that I will be able to surround myself with positive people. If there is one thing school taught me, it has to be that I am incredibly sensitive when it comes to the people around me. When I am around, what I like to call ‘poison people’, I will be shy, anxious, sad. However, if the people around me are kind and like-minded, I’ll feel on top of the world and I’ll be the most social butterfly you’ll have ever met. It’s crazy what other people can do to my feelings.
  • I hope to improve my creativity. This is quite a big one. ‘My creativity’; what does that mean? To me, it currently means: I want to improve my drawing, writing, painting and ukulele skills. I said currently, because this might change. Who knows really?
  • I hope to find my passion. I already touched on this very briefly in yesterdays post, but I hope to find my purpose or my passion. I hope to find something to live for.
  • I hope to go to more concerts. Concerts have always been my happy place. I don’t know what it is. Perhaps it’s my crazy obsession with the band playing. Perhaps it’s the feeling of solidarity when I am in a room full of people all singing along to the same songs.

This is about it for now. I might come up with some more hopes but I will share them with you another time. Do you have any hopes for 2017? I’d love to hear them so don’t hesitate to leave a comment down below!

And remember; dreams and hopes don’t always have to be the biggest achievements. They can be small things too. It’s okay to hope for something small. It’s okay if you, just like me, simply hope to be truly happy one day.

I will see you tomorrow! Always dream and always have hope.

Toodlepip! xxx

Goodbye 2016: the year of ups and downs

The year is coming to and end. The finish line of 2016 is in sight. A lot has happened in the world this year, but I am going to keep this post close to myself. I started to ponder of all the things I have achieved this year, things I have learned. I thought I would write some of them down today for you to read.

  • Every year in these kind of posts I write about how proud I am of myself for saying yes to scary things and getting outside of my comfort zone. However, this year is slightly different. This year I am proud of the fact that I said no. It’s a good thing to say yes and step outside your comfort zone, but if you feel like you are crossing your own personaly bounderies, you should also be brave enough to say no. You might know that I quit my Youtube channel this year. Eventhough it makes me sad sometimes that uploading online video’s crosses my bounderies and triggers my anxiety, but I do not regret my decision. I feel like I have made the right choice by saying no this time. Even if that means giving up a ‘dream’or  a ‘passion’. Mental health always comes first. If it is hurting your mental health, it’s not the right dream for you.
  • Here on my blog I often share my thoughts, feelings and emotional well-being. I have two reason for doing that. 1) writing down my thoughts helps me make sense of my brain. 2) I hope to show the few reading this, that it is okay to not be okay. As much as it is motivating to hear words like: ”I made it through, so you can do it too”, I feel like hearing the words: ”I am broken too and that is okay” is ultimately so much more comforting. Hearing that it will get better gives hope for the future and that is good, but what about the present? I am still feeling bad now. Of course it is nice to hear that it won’t last forever but what do I do with that information right now? I think it is so much better to know that it is okay that you are feeling bad or sad. You are not alone in this. By sharing my thoughts, I do not hope to give the best advice. I am still struggling so I don’t have the best advice. However, by sharing my thoughts and feelings I hope to show some people that it’s okay to struggle, it’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to not know what to do. As long as you keep trying to be a better person.
  • Something else I have been thinking about a lot this year is the question: how do I get through this life? Sometimes I wonder what I am doing here. What’s my purpose? What am I supposed to do in this life? I have come up with something. My answer is not all there is to life. There is so much more. But I feel like what I have made up here, might be the beginning of purpose. At least for me. I feel like I need to find something I am passionate about. You don’t have to be good at it. Stop feeling like you need to be a teenage prodigy. You just got to keep trying, keep working. Until you find a purpose on this earth, give yourself a purpose. I have been playing the ukulele. I have been writing poetry, this blog and a novel. I have been drawing and painting. All of this only to find a sense of purpose. It would be nice of course if in the end, we would find that one thing that gives us our purpose but perhaps the search for purpose is our purpose. I am not sure about this yet. I will update you on my findings in the form of another blogpost as soon as I have figured it out.
  • Another thing I found out this year, is that the brain, for some people, is a very big place, inside of a very small place. This can be very frustrating, scary even. I like to compair my brain to the universe. (I am aware this might sound a bit odd) The universe is this massive thing. Most of it still unknown and undiscovered. No one really knows where it ends. Does it even end? But most importantly; the universe is filled with planets, stars, nebulae, galaxies and black holes. Some parts are beyond beautiful whereas other parts are dark, scary and destructive. The universe is a beautiful and scary place. Just like my mind sometimes. And that’s okay. I wouldn’t want it any other way.
  • Lastly, I realized that life is all about the small moments of happiness. There is not going to be one big moment that your whole life has been leading up to. It’s the small moments that are important. In order to live those happy moments, you have to be alive. I have heard that, apparently, it’s worth it. You just got to survive and get through the bad moments, so you can enjoy and be alive for the happy ones. I think that is what life is all about. You cannot stop the bad moments from happening. But you can survive them.

This was quite a messy post. I was feeling a bit messy myself today so I think it’s appropriate. What have you learned this year? Let me know in the comments. I would really love to know.

I will see you tomorrow! Try to live on, friend.

Toodlepip! xx

Three Years Of Blogging // what I have learned so far

22nd of November, 2013. This is the day fifteen year old Anne decided to write her first ever blogpost. When I look back at older blogposts, I often cringe at the spelling mistakes or just the way I wrote in general. The language might not be the best, however I do feel like that first ever blogpost I wrote, still very much represents my content and the topics I want to write about. In case you don’t know, my first ever blogpost is called; Being Happy With Yourself. In all honesty, this is still something I struggle with, but I keep trying everyday. The thing I like most about this post is the sentence I ended it with; It’s time to take a risk! I feel like I did. I feel like I took a lot of risks over these past three years. Not all of those risks had such a great ending, but at least I tried and I think by doing just that, I have made fifteen year old me quite proud. (I hope)

Eventhough the whole idea behind my blog, the purpose that I wanted this blog to have, are still the same, I feel like have learned a lot. I have developed myself. I have grown and so has my blog. So to anyone who might be starting a blog, or to anyone who is thinking about starting one. Or even to bloggers who have been doing this for even longer than I have; here are a few things I have learned in three years of blogging.

  • First thing I learned; be you. Do not copy others! One of the reasons I started blogging was because I had so much admiration for bloggers like Zoella and Sprinkleofglitter. I used to spent hours on their blogs just looking for things to write about or even trying to mimic their way of writing. At the time I was fifteen years old and had no experience whatsoever with writing. Let alone writing in a foreign language! That is why I do not think it is wrong to look around on the internet, looking for inspiration or simply educating yourself on how to write. But do not copy others!! It is okay to be inspired. It is okay to educate yourself. But you are you and you should not try to be anyone else! Try to find out who you want to be on your blog and be that person.
  • Secondly; do not get overexcited when a company reaches out to you. Over the last three years I have had multiple companies reaching out to me, asking me to write a blogpost for them. So far, I have never been paid for this. Everytime I got an email from a company, I felt so honoured that they picked my blog, out of all the blogs they could have picked! But don’t get too excited! Make sure, before sending back your reply; where are my bounderies? To me, it is one of the most important things that my blog stays 100% honest and true to who I am. That is why I always say within the post that I was asked to write it. The latter has given me quite some trouble. Most companies do not want you to adress that they have reached out to you. However, if this is something you want to do, don’t let them tell you you can’t. So before you agree with them on writing the post; tell them where your bounderies are. Be firm, be honest and most of all; dare to say no. If you do not want to collaborate with this company, you don’t have to! Just politely tell them you think your blog does not fit their company but that you are flattered they reached out to you anyway.
  • The next thing I have learned is something that I became quite passionate about over the last few months. I often used to read all those blogposts about ‘How To Grow Your Blog!’ or ‘How To Become A Succesful Blogger: Rules of Blogging!’. Now I don’t think there is anything wrong with these posts as really, they could be very helpful. However, I have read plenty of them and one thing I noticed is that there was always one certain ‘rule’ or ‘tip’ they tried to give me: ”pick only one topic to write about and stick with that topic.” I bet this is a great tip. Your readers will know what to expect from you and it is also a lot easier for you. However, to me this tip sounded more like: ”limit yourself to only one topic.” This is something I did not want to do. I wanted my blog to be about everything that popped into my mind. I just do not want to limit myself. ‘They say stay in your lane, boy. But we go where we want to.’ This is a lyric from the song Lane Boy, by Twenty One Pilots and I feel like it fits this situation perfectly. Honestly, if my blog was a tv show, this would probably be our theme song. Yes, I can go limit myself by writing about one topic only. This might give me succes really quickly and easily. However, is that what I want? No. I have a completly different idea for my blog. And even if it is going to take a little longer for me to grow my audience, so be it. At least I stayed true to who I am and who I want to be. That is also where my motto for this blog comes from; let’s change the rules of succesful blogging.
  • This brings me to my next point. I just said I wanted to write about everything that popped into my head. However, I do filter it. Mental health is something I often talk about on this blog as it is something that is very prominent in my life. If I were to write down everything that popped into my head; this blog would be more of a ‘rant’ or ‘sob’ blog. Don’t become that blog. Unless a sob blog is what you are going for ofcourse. If so, go ahead. But it is not what I am going for. It is a good thing to share your personal experiences and emotions, but don’t talk about it all the time.
  • Put time and effort in your blogposts! I get that you try to post as often as possible. But it is always quality over quantity! If you don’t have a lot of time, don’t post it! Wait until you have some more time on your hands to finish your post. Make sure your post is as good as it possibly can be!
  • Almost the last one. I feel like this post is becoming way too long so I am going to keep it short from now on. Post regularly!! I feel like a bit of a hypocrite now, I have to admit. Posting regularly is something I struggle with a lot. This past year especially. A reason for that could be that perhaps emotionally and mentally I have not been doing very well this year. This has been an issue for me for quite some time now, but especially this last year has been tough for no apparent reason. Also with all my exams and schoolwork, it is becoming quite difficult to post as often as I would like to. I am hoping that once I go to uni I have more time and more positive energy to write and post a little more often.
  • Lastly; make sure you 100% enjoy what it is you are doing. If you do not enjoy it, then why spend time on it? Blogging is and always will be my hobby. Perhaps one day, if I am lucky, I might be able to earn some money from this. But it will always be something  I do because I enjoy it. There is no point in doing something that you do not enjoy.

I feel like this was quite a messy post. I had no plan or structure whatsoever when I started writing this. I truly wanted this to come from my heart as blogging, even after three years, is still something I am incredibly passionate about. I truly hope that it will stay that way for a very long time. I know that I do not have a massive amount of readers, but that’s okay. I know there are people out there who do read and appreciate whatever it is I have to say. To all of those people I would like to say: Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am happy and incredibly honoured that I am on this crazy online journey with you. You are very much loved and appreciated. ❤︎❤︎❤︎

My hopes for the future are that I am able to reach even more people with my words. This blog is nothing more than a vessel. Of course I want this blog to be succesful but in the end, what matters most to me is that the message that my blog is carrying is being read, being seen and being used to make the world a kinder, better and more hopeful place. That is all I could ever wish for.

So once again, thank you.

Stay you, stay alive, be kind, be proud. Now repeat and impart. 

Wherever you are, whoever you are; let’s go ahead and change the rules of blogging.

Toodlepip! xxx

Another Attempt Of Steering My Vessel Towards A Happy Life

It has been quite a while since I have uploaded on here. Over the last, I suppose, week, things have emotionally been quite heavy for me. Nothing too serious I guess, it’s just something that, with my mental health state, I have to deal with from time to time. Sometimes I just start thinking a little bit too much.

While I was thinking I started to ponder of my future. As I said in an earlier post, I am currently a senior in high school and hopefully I graduate after this year and get to go to uni. Going to uni has always been a massive motivation for me. Personally, I absolutely hate and dread high school. I dread having to go there each day and I hate the everyday life that I am currently living. I have always had these big hopes that going to uni and moving to a bigger city would magically make me more happy with the way my life is. I often hear these stories from people telling me that going to uni and moving out will make things better. Just a change of environment can already do so much for your mental health, they say. However, now that it is getting closer and closer, I am starting to get a bit nervous; what if it is not going to be the way expected it? What if my life is still going to be as unsatisfying as it is now?

Just in case the change of going to uni and living in a bigger city is not enough, I decided to come up with a few goals. Goals that I am going to try and work on in order to, hopefully, change my life and steer my vessel, as I like to call this life and this body that I am currently in, into a more positive direction.

These goals are very minor and very small things but there is nothing more demotivating as not reaching your goals.

1. Blog regularly 

I know I talk about this quite often, but blogging is something I have been loving for quite some time now. Whether I talk about beauty and fashion or about mental health, I love being able to just type away and clear my head. That is also why, as soon as I have some more time on my hands, I want to blog more often but most importantly, according to some sort of schedule. I often set certain days for myself to upload but I never end up following up to that plan. Sometimes because I am too busy with school, sometimes because I don’t feel emotionally or mentally well enough to write something, or sometimes it is just simple laziness. I am hoping that once I have moved out and I am doing things that I am actually passionate about, I will be more motivated to do more with my life.

2. Make music

By this I don’t mean write music or make music of my own, because, let’s face it, I don’t think I am quite fit to do so. However, I recently got a ukulele and I love playing it. Even if it is just playing simple covers of my favourite songs. I enjoy it so much that it got to the point where I want to learn to play even more instruments. Therefore, making music is definitely something I want to work on.

3. Read more books

I say this everytime, every year, every day. I love to read, although, with all the mandatory books I have to read for school and all the homework and studying I have to do, it is hard to find time, but above all, energy to read. After a full day of school and homework, you kind of just want to sit down and watch Netflix. So again, hopefully going to uni will give me more time, more motivation and more energy to read.

4. Learn how to write

Not a lot of people know this about me, in fact, I think there is only one person who knows this about me. However, if I had to describe to you my biggest dream it would look something like this; being a bestselling young adult author, who is able, with her books, to change the way people look at the world, the way people look at themselves. Besides my books I would love to still write on here, on my blog. Just a cheeky little example; I would want to be the new J.K. Rowling, mixed with some Zoe Sugg and perhaps a little bit of Tyler Joseph. Not that I would want to be a succesful musician, simply because I do not have the talent for that, but I would love to somehow, add my love for music in there somewhere. Perhaps playing some ukulele covers during signings or meet-ups? I know, this vision sounds absolutely ridiculous. Who would ever want to read my books? Who would ever want to visit my blog? Who would ever want to hear me play the ukulele? But then again; power to the local dreamer, right? I could at least give it a go, right? Lucky for me, along with what I am going to do at uni, there is also an option to do a course of creative writing. I would absolutely love to just give that a go and see where it takes me. I have so many ideas and stories in my brain, why not let them out? All I need to know now is how to put my thoughts into words and write them down.

5. Surround myself with positive people

I am a person whose emotions and mental state are very much influenced by the people around her. If I am around positive and kind people, I will feel on top of the world. However, when I am around negative people, it will bring me down so much. That is why I am hoping that in the future I will be able to surround myself with positive people, like minded people. I think this whole ‘meeting new people and trying to find the right ones for me -thing’ has to be my biggest worry about moving away from my hometown.

6. Get better at art

Creating art, or simply just creating, is something I absolutely love. I like to see myself as quite a creative person, although, I feel like I lack the ability of actually bringing out that creativity. I want to paint, I want to draw, I want to write poetry. I have an abundance of ideas for all of this as well, but I am simply not good at it yet. I am not a great drawer nor painter nor poet. I want to be, I aspire to be, but I am not there yet. I hope that with loads of practise I will get there one day.

I am by no means an expert in the field of mental health, let alone that my advice is actually helpful. All I do is try to find ways to help myself. By setting goals for myself, by giving myself certain things to work on, I hope to push myself in a more positive mindset and a more satisfying daily life. Obviously, I am going to work hard for my dream, but like I said before; nothing is more demotivating than not reaching your goals. So becoming that great author/blogger/Tyler Joseph-person is not my main goal. Yes, it is something I will keep in mind and I will keep working for, but ultimately it is not what I focus on. I am going to focus on developing myself as a person.

I am going to focus on the proces instead of focussing on the end result. 

Do you have any goals for your future? Things you want to learn? Things you want to do or see? Let me know in the comments!

Toodlepip! x