This Is A Line

this is a line and this line is mine.

you will find that this line can divide

the kind and not so kind side of your mind.

this is a line and this line is mine.

you will find that on the unkind side of your mind

the light is very far behind.

you will also find that on this side of your mind

you are blind and unrefined.

undermined by that unkind side of your mind.

you will fall behind. out of sight. out of mind. unaligned.

but do I need to remind you

that even the blind, the unrefined, the unaligned, have a kinder side to their mind?

this is a line and this line is mine.

you will find that on the kind side of your mind

you are still unrefined and unaligned.

but now you will find that on this side of your mind

there is still some light left behind.

now it is time to redefine.

not this side or that side.

not kind or unkind.

just, your mind.

this is a line and this line is mine.

you will find that this line

is merely a sign of the human kind.

nothing more than a concept from the mind

to define what is inside.

this is a line and this line is mine.

you will find that my feet and my spine are not on either side of the line.

they are in fact on the line.

because I am not defined by the two sides of my mind.

instead I will combine the kind and the unkind

to create one mind.

you will find that when you combine the sides,

you are not assigned to either side of your mind.

you are in fact a free mind.

unrefined.

unaligned.

undefined

and unfeigned.

– A poem inspired by another poem

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Winter Style // the fake glasses

In a previous post I confessed my love for fake, nerdy glasses. I have now finally found my true love. These glasses are quite big, I admit, but I like them a lot. They give your outfit just that little extra touch.

Also, this jumper is hands down the most confortable and warm thing I have ever owned. I love to wear it with a skirt, like I did over here, or with a simple pair of jeans. I don’t know, it looks kinda cool, I guess.

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Toodlepip! xx


Jumper: & Other Stories – Skirt: The Sting – Shoes: Alpe – Glasses: H&M

How To Not Bake Christmas Tree Brownies

Guys… I tried. I really tried. But I failed. Miserably..

I wanted to make these really cute brownies shaped like a Christmas tree, decorated with some white chocolate and sprinkles. I really wanted this to be a high quality, good looking and proffesional post. That didn’t happen. Apparantly, you’re not supposed to put the brownie mix in a cake tray. It won’t come out after baking resulting in your kitchen being covered in brownie crumbs while you do an attempt at getting your brownie safely out of the tray. Also, you can’t colour melted chocolate with food colouring. It turns into this pulpy stuff. I don’t know why, ask the science side of Tumblr. Anyway, I failed. My brownies failed. But I thought you might enjoy to laugh at my misery so here it is anyway.

I started off okay. I had a box of brownie powder stuff and all I needed to do was add water and some butter. That was all. I thought I could do that. I mixed the ingedrients together and it looked alright. I still had hope that this was going to be a good blogmas day.

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I thought it would be better not to use the tray from the box because it was fairly small. I wanted a bigger tray. That way I could get more Christmas trees out of it. Reasonable thinking, right? NO. Always use the tray given in the box. It will go wrong if you don’t. Here is proof.

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I tried to stay positive. Perhaps I could still get some Christmas trees out of it. ‘It’s fine’ I told myself. ‘Don’t panic.’ So I managed to get 4 somewhat Christmas tree looking shapes out of the brownie crumbs. I had regained some hope. Little did I know, that bit of hope would very soon be lost again.

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That is when I started melting the chocolate. It all went okay at first. I melted nicely. But then I added the food colouring. The chocolate somehow ended up looking like poop. This is where I realized; maybe I should give up.

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But then, all of a sudden a thought came to me: perhaps I could cover the whole thing in chocolate, you won’t even notice the poopy consistency! Let me tell you, kids; it did not work.

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This is when I actually gave up. I decided to lie down in the kitchen floor for a minute. Then, while lying on the floor, I ate some of the remaining brownie crumbs. Then I went upstairs and wrote this post. Also, my internet is currently gone. I’m writing this without any wifi. I hope I will be able to fix it today. Otherwise that would be fail number three of the day. (I also failed my math exam today, that was the first fail.)

Anyway. I hope you either laughed at my failure here or perhaps you now know what not to do when baking brownies. I will see you tomorrow.

Toodlepip! xx

All About My Ukulele

Something I have fallen in love with over the past few months is my ukulele. I sometimes get questions from people online about my ukulele so I thought I could write a whole post on it today. Do know, I am not a proffesional nor do I know a lot about ukuleles. In fact, I hardly know anything. All I can tell you is how I have experienced learning the ukulele so far.

Why did I choose to play the ukulele?

I think the ukulele is not an instrument you immediately think of when you are picking an instrument to learn. However, if it’s your first ever instrument; a ukulele is a nice start. For quite some time I had the thought of wanting to play an intrument. However, I have always had the guitar in mind. Two songs that really encouraged me to pick up an instrument were Missing You by All Time Low and The Strays by Sleeping With Sirens. Both two of my favourite bands, both really great and meaningful songs. However, I never thought I would be good enough to be able to play a guitar. At this point I had discovered a few people on Youtube who played the ukulele and that gave some ideas. I thought perhaps the fact that a ukulele is a lot smaller than a guitar meant that it was also a lot easier to play and cheaper to buy. So I did.

Which ukulele do I have?

I have the Diamond Head DU-250 which is a soprano ukulele. There are four main ukulele sizes and mine is the smallest. Which one to get really depends on what you want to do with your ukulele. If you are anything like me and you had no idea there were different sizes you just want ‘that one you see everyone on Youtube play’, you probably mean a soprano or a concert ukulele. The concert one is a little bigger and has a harder sound to it. I advise you to do think about what you really want to do with your ukulele once you have it and try and find the right one for it. Prise wise, ukuleles can differ a lot. You have very cheap ones and very expensive ones. If you are just starting out, I would advice you not to but an expensive one right away. Mine was around 40 euros and honestly, I feel like it sounds just as good as expansive ones. Perhaps I have to do some more tuning but that’s okay for me.

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Is it difficult to learn how to play a ukulele?

When I first started playing my ukulele, it was the hardest freaking thing ever. I struggled a lot. But then I remembered something. I have this 5 Seconds Of Summer DVD in which Michael, my favourite member said: ”I almost gave up on playing the guitar cause it was so hard to do. I am glad I didn’t give up.” This is something that always motivates me whenever I struggle to play. Even famous guitarists struggle. Just don’t give up. Keep practising. Keep getting better. I have to say, I still struggle. But I keep practising everyday and I keep getting better everyday. However, to answer this question: No, the ukulele is in fact not a difficult instrument to play. It just takes some getting used to. Fairly quickly I taught myself a few basic chords and strumming patterns and with that I am able to play so many different songs. If you are new to playing an instrument, a ukulele is a great start.

Why do I enjoy playing the ukulele so much?

I like playing the ukulele. However, the thing that made me love it was Twenty One Pilots. As you may know, Tyler also plays the ukulele. Seeing him play it and hearing his songs motivated me a lot to improve. In all honesty, if it weren’t for Twenty One Pilots, I would have probably already gotten bored of playing. Not only do they have a lot of great songs to play on the ukulele, Tyler also taught me something important. I am a very emotional person. That is just a fact. Whenever I feel any negative energy inside me, whenever I feel a negative emotion, I can go and use that negativity to do something negative. That is and always will be an option. But how about we take that energy, that focus, and aim it at something else. Something more positive. Take that energy you have and use it to create. I use my ukulele to aim my emotions on something positive instead of negative. That is what I love about playing.

How do I learn to play new songs?

I am a self taught ukulele player. I have never had any lessons nor do I know how to read music notes. Here are some places I like to go to learn new songs:

  • www.ukutabs.com On this website you will find ukulele chords to so many songs. You can also transpose them to make them easier if you need to. It’s easy to use and understand so you can get started right away.
  • The Ukulele Teacher Probably the best ukulele channel on Youtube. The ukulele teacher has taught me most I know about playing the ukulele. He explains chords, strumming patterns, tuning and even more.
  • Matthew Hedges A slightly smaller channel and not just ukulele tutorials, however very useful to me sometimes. Like me, Matthew is a massive Twenty One Pilots fan so he has some tutorials on that. Watching his, or anyone’s covers can be very instructive too. It might give you some ideas to play and if you look closely, you might even be able to see which chords to play.
  • Isabelle Hyde  She is probaby one of my favourite people ever. She is so talented and once again, a Twenty One Pilots fan, like me. So most of her covers are Twenty One Pilots songs. She has, in my opinion, a very creative way of playing songs. She uses strumming patterns you wouldn’t think of right away. That is why I love watching her covers to get some inspiration and ideas to play songs myself.

Some tips on how to play the ukulele.

The most important thing before you start playing is tuning your ukulele. I struggled a lot with this. I find it very hard to hear when exactly my ukulele is tuned in the right way. I would advise you to either get a tuning app or an actual ukulele tuner. This has helped me a lot. Tuning is obvioulsy done with the tuning keys. The basic way of tuning is G-C-E-A. Meaning that if you hold your ukulele, the string closest to your face is G, the next one C, and so on.

When you are just starting out, the basic chords to learn are F, G, Am and C. These are, first of all, very easy to play and, second of all, very common. You can play so many songs with just these four chords so make sure you know them.

Besides chords, strumming pattern is also important. It’s the thing you do with your other hand basically. You will see that strumming patterns often look something like this: dddudu. D = strum down. U = strum up. Some basic strumming patterns that you can use for most songs are: DDUUDU & DDUDUDU. I started strumming with a guitar pick. For me this was easier. Especially very quick strumming patters are easier with a guitar pick. However, at the moment I prefer to use my thumb to play. It gives a softer sound which I like more but the way you like to strum is totally up to you.

All of these tips are nice. However, there is one thing that to me, is the most important thing to know. Whatever instrument it is you play, know that there is no wrong or right way to play it. Music is self expression so whatever it is you need to be able to express yourself, do it. Don’t let anyone tell you, not even your favourite band member or your own mind, that what you are doing is wrong. The only way to know if you are playing your instrument right is by asking yourself the question: do I truly enjoy playing? If your answer is yes than you are doing it right!

I hope this post was somewhat helful and that I answered at least some of your questions. If you still have questions, don’t hesitate to leave a comment down below! You can also tweet me, or snap me, or ask me on Instagram if you like.

I will see you tomorrow!

Toodlepip!

Let’s Talk About Insecurities

Warning: this post is going to be one big mess as I have literally no idea at this point what I want to bring across to you guys. Also, my brain is a big mess at the moment so please excuse that too. But hey, leggo. Let’s talk about insecurities.

Insecurities start with pressure. You put pressure on yourself to be the best person you can be. I think that is what we all want; to be the best person possible. But we cannot always be the best person. Why can we not be that? Why is it that sometimes we cannot be the person we want to be. This is where insecurity starts. This is where that little voice inside your head starts telling you you’re not good enough.

Something I discovered lately is that I want to create. I love to create. It gives me a sense of purpose. It gives me motivation to live on. However, as much as I love creating, it also makes me very insecure. I put pressure on myself to create the best things possible. But I cannot always create the best things possible. Even writing this post right now, makes me insecure. Just a second ago I sat back in my chair and looked at my computer screen and for a split second I thought: ”why do I even bother? It’s not going to be the best I can. I should just delete this all and go back to laying in my bed.” And I think that is the main question here: should I continue to create even if it is not going to be a great creation. The bright side of my mind is shouting ‘yes!’ right now. But why? It gives me joy sometimes, but also so many insecurities.

These insecurities make me sad. Right now I am typing this while wiping away a tear. Why? I don’t know. I do not know why I am crying. Perhaps creating this post, the fact that I talk about this topic and think about this topic reminds me of the fact that sometimes, I am a very unhappy person. That feeling of unhappiness that I am currently feeling, scares me and makes me even more insecure about what I create, ultimately making me even more sad. And like that, it is an unending circle. If I stop creating now, I won’t feel that unhappy feeling and I won’t feel so insecure and scared anymore, but without creating I will never find joy. There is a difference between happiness and joy, you know? Let me explain.

Happiness is the state of being happy. You can feel happy when you are laughing with a friend. You can feel happy at a concert of your favourite band. You can be depressed and still feel happiness. You can be suicidal and still feel happiness. Joy, on the other hand, is not as specific. It is not one moment that gives you a feeling of joy. It is simply being content with the way your life is. I think that is what joy really is. You are not in control of your happiness. People can take it away from you. Your mind can take it away from you. However, we can be in control of our own personal joy.

By creating, I will not find happiness. In fact; sometimes I am so insecure about what I create, I will find the most unhappy feeling there is. However, creating, as far as I know now, is the only thing that can bring me joy. Perhaps we all just have to push through those insecurities, push through the fear of being unhappy, in order to be able to find joy.

‘Don’t let the fear of unhappiness stop you from doing what it is that brings you joy. Don’t be afraid to push through insecurities and unhappiness to find joy.’ 

That being said; what is it that one can do to stop feeling so insecure? This is a rather difficult question to answer. However, I think I have found the answer. Someone helped me find it actually. So if you have recognized anything that I have written in this post, it’s because I was inspired by someone else. Almost all I know, comes from that one person. Back to the question; what can I do to stop being insecure about what I create? First of all: Stop feeling like you need to be a teenage prodigy. Hardly anyone is. Hard work and practise is key. Pretend you’re confident until you are. It’s hard, I know, but it seems to work. Apparantly, your mentality will change.

”A year ago I’d be saying that this drawing is really shitty compared to what other people can do. Today I’m saying, I’m a damn good artist and I’m going to keep practicing and keep getting better.”  – Tyler Joseph

I don’t really know what else I can say. I think it is safe for me to say that at the beginning of this post I was crying and I was insecure and I was feeling very down about myself and my ability to create. However, right now, I pushed through those insecurities, I pushed through the tears and unhappiness, and I created. Perhaps this is not my best post. Perhaps this is not the best post out there, but at least I created something.

Also, I hope you guys appreciate my honesty. I got a comment a few days ago that really touched me. The person told me that they liked my honesty. That person told me to stay strong and keep going. I think that is the main thing I want to do with my blog. I want to be honest about who I am and who I want to be, but mostly; I want to be honest about how I feel and what is on my mind. Not only does it help me, but I really hope it might help some of you too. By writing all of this and by being open and honest, I want to tell you all that it’s okay to be broken. It’s okay if you do not know what to do or what to think. You are not alone. I’m there too and all we can do is just keep going and keep trying and keep chasing joy.

I will see you tomorrow. Thank you if you have read up until here. It means the absolute world to me.

Toodlepip. xxx

Winter Style: the red beanie

This outfit might not be the most Christmassy outfit but we cannot be festive all the time.

If you have been following my blogmas this year, you will know that I got this red beanie quite recently. And let me tell you, I have fallen in love with it. Besides the fact that I fangirl everytime I see it (because it is, for the ones who don’t know, a Twenty One Pilots beanie), I also love how it looks with most my clothes. Red is obvioulsy a tricky colour but so far I have been able to wear it with quite a few outfits without a problem.

Another part of the outfit that I like is the denim jacket. I own quite a few denim jackets however, nothing quite like this one. Although it does not have pockets which can be very annoying at times, I do love the slightly oversized feel and the patches. Pair it with a pair of black jeans, a black top and a a beanie or hat for some colour and you are good to go.

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I will see you tomorrow!

Toodlepip!


Top: DIY – Jeans: Zara – Denim Jacket: The Sting – Beanie: Twenty One Pilots Merch Website – Shoes: Converse

Hello 2017: the year of high hopes

Yesterday I wrote a ‘Goodbye 2016’ blogpost; looking back on the previous year. 2016 has been a year of ups and downs. I hope next year, for 2017 I will be able to say it was the year of change. Here are my hopes for 2017.

  • I hope that I am going to graduate. Normally, on the education level I am on, middle and high school last six years all together. I am now on year 7 as I was held back one year. Let me tell you that 7 years of high school has been more than enough. Therefore, I hope will all my heart, that I will pass all my exams so I can finally leave this hell hole. As really, as sad and pessimistic as it might sound, that’s what high school currently is to me.
  • I hope that I will enjoy my first year at uni. I cannot say anything yet for the years after that, but I hope to at least enjoy my first year. I am not 100% sure yet what I want to do at uni, but I just hope I will like it.
  • I hope that living in a bigger city will make me feel more at home. The place where I am living now does simply not feel like home. I don’t know why. Perhaps it’s because it’s a small and dull village. Perhaps I will feel more at home in the big city. I truly hope so.
  • I hope that I will be able to surround myself with positive people. If there is one thing school taught me, it has to be that I am incredibly sensitive when it comes to the people around me. When I am around, what I like to call ‘poison people’, I will be shy, anxious, sad. However, if the people around me are kind and like-minded, I’ll feel on top of the world and I’ll be the most social butterfly you’ll have ever met. It’s crazy what other people can do to my feelings.
  • I hope to improve my creativity. This is quite a big one. ‘My creativity’; what does that mean? To me, it currently means: I want to improve my drawing, writing, painting and ukulele skills. I said currently, because this might change. Who knows really?
  • I hope to find my passion. I already touched on this very briefly in yesterdays post, but I hope to find my purpose or my passion. I hope to find something to live for.
  • I hope to go to more concerts. Concerts have always been my happy place. I don’t know what it is. Perhaps it’s my crazy obsession with the band playing. Perhaps it’s the feeling of solidarity when I am in a room full of people all singing along to the same songs.

This is about it for now. I might come up with some more hopes but I will share them with you another time. Do you have any hopes for 2017? I’d love to hear them so don’t hesitate to leave a comment down below!

And remember; dreams and hopes don’t always have to be the biggest achievements. They can be small things too. It’s okay to hope for something small. It’s okay if you, just like me, simply hope to be truly happy one day.

I will see you tomorrow! Always dream and always have hope.

Toodlepip! xxx

Goodbye 2016: the year of ups and downs

The year is coming to and end. The finish line of 2016 is in sight. A lot has happened in the world this year, but I am going to keep this post close to myself. I started to ponder of all the things I have achieved this year, things I have learned. I thought I would write some of them down today for you to read.

  • Every year in these kind of posts I write about how proud I am of myself for saying yes to scary things and getting outside of my comfort zone. However, this year is slightly different. This year I am proud of the fact that I said no. It’s a good thing to say yes and step outside your comfort zone, but if you feel like you are crossing your own personaly bounderies, you should also be brave enough to say no. You might know that I quit my Youtube channel this year. Eventhough it makes me sad sometimes that uploading online video’s crosses my bounderies and triggers my anxiety, but I do not regret my decision. I feel like I have made the right choice by saying no this time. Even if that means giving up a ‘dream’or  a ‘passion’. Mental health always comes first. If it is hurting your mental health, it’s not the right dream for you.
  • Here on my blog I often share my thoughts, feelings and emotional well-being. I have two reason for doing that. 1) writing down my thoughts helps me make sense of my brain. 2) I hope to show the few reading this, that it is okay to not be okay. As much as it is motivating to hear words like: ”I made it through, so you can do it too”, I feel like hearing the words: ”I am broken too and that is okay” is ultimately so much more comforting. Hearing that it will get better gives hope for the future and that is good, but what about the present? I am still feeling bad now. Of course it is nice to hear that it won’t last forever but what do I do with that information right now? I think it is so much better to know that it is okay that you are feeling bad or sad. You are not alone in this. By sharing my thoughts, I do not hope to give the best advice. I am still struggling so I don’t have the best advice. However, by sharing my thoughts and feelings I hope to show some people that it’s okay to struggle, it’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to not know what to do. As long as you keep trying to be a better person.
  • Something else I have been thinking about a lot this year is the question: how do I get through this life? Sometimes I wonder what I am doing here. What’s my purpose? What am I supposed to do in this life? I have come up with something. My answer is not all there is to life. There is so much more. But I feel like what I have made up here, might be the beginning of purpose. At least for me. I feel like I need to find something I am passionate about. You don’t have to be good at it. Stop feeling like you need to be a teenage prodigy. You just got to keep trying, keep working. Until you find a purpose on this earth, give yourself a purpose. I have been playing the ukulele, I have been writing poetry and this blog, I have been drawing and painting. All of this only to find a sense of purpose. It would be nice of course if in the end, we would find that one thing that gives us our purpose but perhaps the search for purpose is our purpose. I am not sure about this yet. I will update you on my findings in the form of another blogpost as soon as I have figured it out.
  • Another thing I found out this year, is that the brain, for some people, is a very big place, inside of a very small place. This can be very frustrating, scary even. I like to compair my brain to the universe. (I am aware this might sound a bit odd) The universe is this massive thing. Most of it still unknown and undiscovered. No one really knows where it ends. Does it even end? But most importantly; the universe is filled with planets, stars, nebulae, galaxies and black holes. Some parts are beyond beautiful whereas other parts are dark, scary and destructive. The universe is a beautiful and scary place. Just like my mind sometimes. And that’s okay. I wouldn’t want it any other way.
  • Lastly, I realized that life is all about the small moments of happiness. There is not going to be one big moment that your whole life has been leading up to. It’s the small moments that are important. In order to live those happy moments, you have to be alive. You just got to survive and get through the bad moments, so you can enjoy and be alive for the happy ones. I think that is what life is all about. You cannot stop the bad moments from happening. But you can survive them.

This was quite a messy post. I was feeling a bit messy myself today so I think it’s appropriate. What have you learned this year? Let me know in the comments. I would really love to know.

I will see you tomorrow! Try to live on, friends.

Toodlepip! xx

A Way Too Early ‘What I Got For Christmas’

The title of this post is not very accurate. It is not even Christmas yet and I have already had my presents. If you are from Holland, you will probably know what is going on but in case you are not: here in Holland we have a celebration called Sinterklaas. Which is basically the same thing as Santa, but we celebrate it on December 5. Perhaps I should have just call this post What I Got For ‘Sinterklaas’.

First things first; the thing I might be most excited about: a Twenty One Pilots beanie. You might know, if you are a regular reader of my blog, that I am a massive Twenty One Pilots fan. You could say I was pretty happy when I opened this present. Also, it is such nice quality and very warm for these cold winter days.

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Now that we are talking about Twenty One Pilots; I also got the lp version of their first studio album Vessel.Why not their latest abum Blurryface? Well, for the simple reason that I like Vessel a lot more as it contains some of my favourite songs such as Car Radio and Guns For Hands.

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Next up I got a drawing set. Lately I have been really into drawing and I am very serious about improving my drawing skills. So far I have always used just some random pencil to draw, however, I wanted to try out something a little more, I suppose, proffesional. Of course there is nothing wrong with using just a plain pencil, but I thought it could be fun to try out some more pencils and products. Now all I need to do is fugure out what to use all these different pencils and chalks for!

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This next present is something I already knew I was going to get as I was there when it was bought. It is a necklace with my birthstone; Ruby which happens to be my favourite type of stone. (and my favourite Twenty One Pilots song lol) Apparently a Ruby stands for wisdom, wealth and love, which I thought was a really nice thought.

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Last but not least; I got a ukulele tuner. Perhaps not the most interesting present for you to read about. Especially if you don’t play the ukulele. However, this tuner came in very handy for me. Lately I have been playing the ukulele and besides practising a lot and getting the hang of all the chords and strumming patterns, the tuning of your ukulele is also a very important part. If you are anything like me and you struggle a lot with hearing whether it is tuned properly, a tuner is a nice little thing to have.

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I will see you tomorrow!

Toodlepip! x

Winter Style: we used to dream of outer space

Today I am off to an early Christmas celebration at my grandparents house and I thought: why not share my outfit of today? If there is one thing I am obsessed with it has to be space. I admit, I am a space loving geek. I suppose you can imagine how I freaked out when I saw this shirt in the shop. Pair it with a nice choker (another obsession of mine) and some black skinny jeans and you are good to go.

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See you tomorrow!

Toodlepip! x


Top: & Other Stories – Trousers: Zara – Choker: H&M – Shoes: Converse.

Winter-ish Beauty Faves

There is nothing I like more than shopping for some new beauty bits after reading someone’s favourites post. I like seeing the products that other’s enjoyed and trying them out for myself. I noticed I haven’t written a favourites post in ages! So I thought it would be only fair if I included one of those in this year’s blogmas. Perhaps this post even contains some gift ideas for you!

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Etos – Cleansing Gel: Young Skin. Usually I try to avoid mentioning ‘Netherlands-only’ products because I know how frustrating it can be if bloggers rave about a product you cannot get in your own country. However, I could not write a favourites post without mentioning this product. Normally, I don’t really believe in using plenty of creams and gels in your skincare routine, but for this cleanser I will make an exception. I have been using it for a while now and I really do see a difference. Of course, I still have some spots here and there but it has helped improve my skin immensely.

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Catrice – Ultimate Stay Lipstick: Plum & Base 070. Catrice has always been my go-to makeup brand when it comes to lipsticks. They are affordable and of very good quality. I have always had a weak spot for darker red/purply lip colours like this one. It stays on nicely, has a lot of pigment and does not dry your lips. All in all, a really great lipstick for the winter months.

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Kiko Milano – Skin Evolution Foundation. If you have been following my blog for a while now, you might be aware of my perpetual struggle to find the perfect foundation. However, I feel like with this foundation that struggle has finally come to an end. It’s a miracle, but it actually matches my snow-like skintone! Believe me, I was just as surprised as you are, my friend. It has great coverage, blends nicely and does not look cakey. Besides that, it also has some SPF, which is always nice if you ask me.

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Beauticology – Raspberry Cream Macaron Body Butter. This brand is quite new to me, I have to be honest. I had never heard of it before but I was surprisinlgy pleased with its products. I have never been a massive body butter fan as most are simply sticky and gross. However, this one is not like that at all! It sinks into the skin nicely and quickly and oh my god… the smell is amazing!! I wish you could all just smell it through your screen. This body butter is especially nice for the winter months where most of us tend to deal with dry skin here and there. At least I do sometimes, especially my hands are a victim of the cold and dry winter wind.

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I will see you tomorrow!

Toodlepip! x

Three Years Of Blogging: what I have learned so far

22nd of November, 2013. This is the day fifteen year old Anne decided to write her first ever blogpost. When I look back at older blogposts, I often cringe at the spelling mistakes or just the way I wrote in general. The language might not be the best, however I do feel like that first ever blogpost I wrote, still very much represents my content and the topics I want to write about. In case you don’t know, my first ever blogpost is called; Being Happy With Yourself. In all honesty, this is still something I struggle with, but I keep trying everyday. The thing I like most about this post is the sentence I ended it with; It’s time to take a risk! I feel like I did. I feel like I took a lot of risks over these past three years. Not all of those risks had such a great ending, but at least I tried and I think by doing just that, I have made fifteen year old me quite proud. (I hope)

Eventhough the whole idea behind my blog, the purpose that I wanted this blog to have, are still the same, I feel like have learned a lot. I have developed myself. I have grown and so has my blog. So to anyone who might be starting a blog, or to anyone who is thinking about starting one. Or even to bloggers who have been doing this for even longer than I have; here are a few things I have learned in three years of blogging.

  • First thing I learned; be you. Do not copy others! One of the reasons I started blogging was because I had so much admiration for bloggers like Zoella and Sprinkleofglitter. I used to spent hours on their blogs just looking for things to write about or even trying to mimic their way of writing. At the time I was fifteen years old and had no experience whatsoever with writing. Let alone writing in a foreign language! That is why I do not think it is wrong to look around on the internet, looking for inspiration or simply educating yourself on how to write. But do not copy others!! It is okay to be inspired. It is okay to educate yourself. But you are you and you should not try to be anyone else! Try to find out who you want to be on your blog and be that person.
  • Secondly; do not get overexcited when a company reaches out to you. Over the last three years I have had multiple companies reaching out to me, asking me to write a blogpost for them. So far, I have never been paid for this. Everytime I got an email from a company, I felt so honoured that they picked my blog, out of all the blogs they could have picked! But don’t get too excited! Make sure, before sending back your reply; where are my bounderies? To me, it is one of the most important things that my blog stays 100% honest and true to who I am. That is why I always say within the post that I was asked to write it. The latter has given me quite some trouble. Most companies do not want you to adress that they have reached out to you. However, if this is something you want to do, don’t let them tell you you can’t. So before you agree with them on writing the post; tell them where your bounderies are. Be firm, be honest and most of all; dare to say no. If you do not want to collaborate with this company, you don’t have to! Just politely tell them you think your blog does not fit their company but that you are flattered they reached out to you anyway.
  • The next thing I have learned is something that I became quite passionate about over the last few months. I often used to read all those blogposts about ‘How To Grow Your Blog!’ or ‘How To Become A Succesful Blogger: Rules of Blogging!’. Now I don’t think there is anything wrong with these posts as really, they could be very helpful. However, I have read plenty of them and one thing I noticed is that there was always one certain ‘rule’ or ‘tip’ they tried to give me: ”pick only one topic to write about and stick with that topic.” I bet this is a great tip. Your readers will know what to expect from you and it is also a lot easier for you. However, to me this tip sounded more like: ”limit yourself to only one topic.” This is something I did not want to do. I wanted my blog to be about everything that popped into my mind. I just do not want to limit myself. ‘They say stay in your lane, boy. But we go where we want to.’ This is a lyric from the song Lane Boy, by Twenty One Pilots and I feel like it fits this situation perfectly. Honestly, if my blog was a tv show, this would probably be our theme song. Yes, I can go limit myself by writing about one topic only. This might give me succes really quickly and easily. However, is that what I want? No. I have a completly different idea for my blog. And even if it is going to take a little longer for me to grow my audience, so be it. At least I stayed true to who I am and who I want to be. That is also where my motto for this blog comes from; let’s change the rules of succesful blogging.
  • This brings me to my next point. I just said I wanted to write about everything that popped into my head. However, I do filter it. Mental health is something I often talk about on this blog as it is something that is very prominent in my life. If I were to write down everything that popped into my head; this blog would be more of a ‘rant’ or ‘sob’ blog. Don’t become that blog. Unless a sob blog is what you are going for ofcourse. If so, go ahead. But it is not what I am going for. It is a good thing to share your personal experiences and emotions, but don’t talk about it all the time.
  • Put time and effort in your blogposts! I get that you try to post as often as possible. But it is always quality over quantity! If you don’t have a lot of time, don’t post it! Wait until you have some more time on your hands to finish your post. Make sure your post is as good as it possibly can be!
  • Almost the last one. I feel like this post is becoming way too long so I am going to keep it short from now on. Post regularly!! I feel like a bit of a hypocrite now, I have to admit. Posting regularly is something I struggle with a lot. This past year especially. A reason for that could be that perhaps emotionally and mentally I have not been doing very well this year. This has been an issue for me for quite some time now, but especially this last year has been tough for no apparent reason. Also with all my exams and schoolwork, it is becoming quite difficult to post as often as I would like to. I am hoping that once I go to uni I have more time and more positive energy to write and post a little more often.
  • Lastly; make sure you 100% enjoy what it is you are doing. If you do not enjoy it, then why spend time on it? Blogging is and always will be my hobby. Perhaps one day, if I am lucky, I might be able to earn some money from this. But it will always be something  I do because I enjoy it. There is no point in doing something that you do not enjoy.

I feel like this was quite a messy post. I had no plan or structure whatsoever when I started writing this. I truly wanted this to come from my heart as blogging, even after three years, is still something I am incredibly passionate about. I truly hope that it will stay that way for a very long time. I know that I do not have a massive amount of readers, but that’s okay. I know there are people out there who do read and appreciate whatever it is I have to say. To all of those people I would like to say: Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am happy and incredibly honoured that I am on this crazy online journey with you. You are very much loved and appreciated. ❤︎❤︎❤︎

My hopes for the future are that I am able to reach even more people with my words. This blog is nothing more than a vessel. Of course I want this blog to be succesful but in the end, what matters most to me is that the message that my blog is carrying is being read, being seen and being used to make the world a kinder, better and more hopeful place. That is all I could ever wish for.

So once again, thank you.

Stay you, stay alive, be kind, be proud. Now repeat and impart. 

Wherever you are, whoever you are; let’s go ahead and change the rules of blogging.

Toodlepip! xxx

Autumn Style: the grunge aesthetic

I feel like I simply cannot write a blogpost without having said anything about the American elections from today. I am not an American. I do not know anyone who lives in America, at least not personally. That makes writing this a bit strange. It almost makes me feel like an intruder. I know that I am not an American nor do I know all the finest details about the situation, however, as an outsider, there is something I want to say.

If I would have been an American the day everyone went out to vote, I would not have voted for Trump. Because of the simple fact that he has certain beliefs and opinion that I do not agree with. Not that I fully agree with everything Clinton has to say, but like the Doctor once said; sometimes the only choices you have are bad ones, but you still have to choose. So yes, in this case, I would have been with her. But the thing is, saying this has no more use, no more utility. What’s done is done and there is nothing we can do apart from looking forward.

So to everyone who voted for Trump; good for you. For everyone who didn’t; I’m so sorry. I get your fear, I get your anxiety and I get your distress. You have all the right to feel that way. All I really want to say to you is this: hold on, be strong, because things won’t be bad forever. Just be who you want to be and be proud. Don’t let anyone ever tell you who should or shouldn’t be. I am not American nor do I know a lot about America, however there is one thing I do know. I know that Trump and everyone who stands behind him will never be strong enough to take away America’s freedom. The freedom to be whoever you want to be. To believe whatever you want to believe and to go where ever it is that you want to go. Don’t let anyone take that right away from you.

To everyone, all around the world; whether you support Trump, or Hillary, or neither, or whether you don’t really care about these elections, we can all learn something from this. We may not have the power to change the world or to get the president we want, but we do have the power to change ourselves. So to everyone; stay alive, hold on, be strong, be kind, be you and be proud. Be the change you want to see in the world. After all, that is all we can do.


With that being said, I feel like I can now talk about something less significant. If you know me or you follow my instagram, you might know that I am in love with everything grunge and everything space. So this outfit, I would say, is very much me. It is not really Dutch-Autumn proof, but these pictures were taken on my recent holiday in Spain. If I were to wear this outfit in Holland right now, I would most likely freeze to death

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Toodlepip! xx


Top: DIY (Josh Dun inspired lol) – Jeans: The Sting – Shoes: Adidas – Socks: H&M (man’s department, again, lol) – Choker: H&M

Another Attempt Of Steering My Vessel Towards A Happy Life

It has been quite a while since I have uploaded on here. Over the last, I suppose, week, things have emotionally been quite heavy for me. Nothing too serious I guess, it’s just something that, with my mental health state, I have to deal with from time to time. Sometimes I just start thinking a little bit too much.

While I was thinking I started to ponder of my future. As I said in an earlier post, I am currently a senior in high school and hopefully I graduate after this year and get to go to uni. Going to uni has always been a massive motivation for me. Personally, I absolutely hate and dread high school. I dread having to go there each day and I hate the everyday life that I am currently living. I have always had these big hopes that going to uni and moving to a bigger city would magically make me more happy with the way my life is. I often hear these stories from people telling me that going to uni and moving out will make things better. Just a change of environment can already do so much for your mental health, they say. However, now that it is getting closer and closer, I am starting to get a bit nervous; what if it is not going to be the way expected it? What if my life is still going to be as unsatisfying as it is now?

Just in case the change of going to uni and living in a bigger city is not enough, I decided to come up with a few goals. Goals that I am going to try and work on in order to, hopefully, change my life and steer my vessel, as I like to call this life and this body that I am currently in, into a more positive direction.

These goals are very minor and very small things but there is nothing more demotivating as not reaching your goals.

1. Blog regularly 

I know I talk about this quite often, but blogging is something I have been loving for quite some time now. Whether I talk about beauty and fashion or about mental health, I love being able to just type away and clear my head. That is also why, as soon as I have some more time on my hands, I want to blog more often but most importantly, according to some sort of schedule. I often set certain days for myself to upload but I never end up following up to that plan. Sometimes because I am too busy with school, sometimes because I don’t feel emotionally or mentally well enough to write something, or sometimes it is just simple laziness. I am hoping that once I have moved out and I am doing things that I am actually passionate about, I will be more motivated to do more with my life.

2. Make music

By this I don’t mean write music or make music of my own, because, let’s face it, I don’t think I am quite fit to do so. However, I recently got a ukulele and I love playing it. Even if it is just playing simple covers of my favourite songs. I enjoy it so much that it got to the point where I want to learn to play even more instruments. Therefore, making music is definitely something I want to work on.

3. Read more books

I say this everytime, every year, every day. I love to read, although, with all the mandatory books I have to read for school and all the homework and studying I have to do, it is hard to find time, but above all, energy to read. After a full day of school and homework, you kind of just want to sit down and watch Netflix. So again, hopefully going to uni will give me more time, more motivation and more energy to read.

4. Learn how to write

Not a lot of people know this about me, in fact, I think there is only one person who knows this about me. However, if I had to describe to you my biggest dream it would look something like this; being a bestselling young adult author, who is able, with her books, to change the way people look at the world, the way people look at themselves. Besides my books I would love to still write on here, on my blog. Just a cheeky little example; I would want to be the new J.K. Rowling, mixed with some Zoe Sugg and perhaps a little bit of Tyler Joseph. Not that I would want to be a succesful musician, simply because I do not have the talent for that, but I would love to somehow, add my love for music in there somewhere. Perhaps playing some ukulele covers during signings or meet-ups? I know, this vision sounds absolutely ridiculous. Who would ever want to read my books? Who would ever want to visit my blog? Who would ever want to hear me play the ukulele? But then again; power to the local dreamer, right? I could at least give it a go, right? Lucky for me, along with what I am going to do at uni, there is also an option to do a course of creative writing. I would absolutely love to just give that a go and see where it takes me. I have so many ideas and stories in my brain, why not let them out? All I need to know now is how to put my thoughts into words and write them down.

5. Surround myself with positive people

I am a person whose emotions and mental state are very much influenced by the people around her. If I am around positive and kind people, I will feel on top of the world. However, when I am around negative people, it will bring me down so much. That is why I am hoping that in the future I will be able to surround myself with positive people, like minded people. I think this whole ‘meeting new people and trying to find the right ones for me -thing’ has to be my biggest worry about moving away from my hometown.

6. Get better at art

Creating art, or simply just creating, is something I absolutely love. I like to see myself as quite a creative person, although, I feel like I lack the ability of actually bringing out that creativity. I want to paint, I want to draw, I want to write poetry. I have an abundance of ideas for all of this as well, but I am simply not good at it yet. I am not a great drawer nor painter nor poet. I want to be, I aspire to be, but I am not there yet. I hope that with loads of practise I will get there one day.

I am by no means an expert in the field of mental health, let alone that my advice is actually helpful. All I do is try to find ways to help myself. By setting goals for myself, by giving myself certain things to work on, I hope to push myself in a more positive mindset and a more satisfying daily life. Obviously, I am going to work hard for my dream, but like I said before; nothing is more demotivating than not reaching your goals. So becoming that great author/blogger/Tyler Joseph-person is not my main goal. Yes, it is something I will keep in mind and I will keep working for, but ultimately it is not what I focus on. I am going to focus on developing myself as a person.

I am going to focus on the proces instead of focussing on the end result. 

Do you have any goals for your future? Things you want to learn? Things you want to do or see? Let me know in the comments!

Toodlepip! x

London Fashion Week 2016

Probably one of the most important events in the world of fashion; London Fashion Week. Unfortunately I could not be there as you have to be of actual importance to get invited. But I suppose the second best thing I could do is scroll through my Instagram and look up pictures and video’s of the event. Besides looking at all the runway shows and admiring the new creations, I also love seeing what all the people wore who got to go to the shows. Perhaps I love the latter even more.

This years Fashion Week Street Style did not dissapoint. If you know me, you know how much I love the 90’s grunge clothing with all its chokers, denim and leather. This year there was more than enough of that to be seen in London. But also lots of colour, denim and even more amazing trends and styles! I have to admit, I got a little carried away with looking at all the grunge outfits and now I kind of want to buy everything I saw..

As I just said; the 90’s grunge were back again for this Fashion Week. An abundance of chokers, painted on jackets and overall edgyness. This one has to be my number one favourite trend of this year.

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The next trend that noticed while scrolling through my Instagram was big, nerdy glasses. Now I don’t know if these were real or fake glasses, but honestly, they looked really cool. I am a massive nerd and eventhough I don’t even need glasses, I kind of want them now.

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A pop of colour was also something that seemed to be a trend on the London streets. Whether it was wearing colour as a bag, as your hair or as your clothes. I am still trying to convince my mum that lilac hair is cooler than she thinks. (she won’t let me dye my hair..)

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From lots of colour to, probably, the complete opposite; black and white. Simple, classy, and very elegant.

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Last, but most definitely not least; denim. I have been very big on denim lately. From denim jeans to denim jackets. Or even both at the same time! Yes, you hear me right, dubble denim is starting to become an accaptable thing again! Whether you style your denim in a very elegant and girly way or a grunge and edgy way, it’s totally up to you!

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What has been your favourite Fashion Week style? Let me know in the comments!

Toodlepip! xx